On Monday, we had gotten the most devastating news anyone can imagine. Kyle was finally able to have an MRI of his brain, and one of the team doctors came to talk to us about what she saw. She was one of those no frills doctors, with a very undesirable bedside manner.*
She left us sitting there with a vision of Kyle possibly on a respirator for his life, or even if he got off that, at least on a trach. She left us thinking that because Kyle was not "awake" after a week, it would be a much slower, more difficult recovery, if a recovery at all.
I told her of the stories our friends have shared with us, of unimaginable brain trauma, and of almost 100% recoveries. I asked her "Those things do happen, don't they?" Her reply... "occasionally". Her last words before finishing up were "I don't give false hope". When she left, we were alone, shaken, speechless to each other.
Well, she apparently doesn't know Kyle like our Warrenton community does!
Since Monday, Kyle has had his respirator removed and a tracheotomy performed. Two days later he had his trach removed and is now breathing on his own. He has just a tube (still in his throat) giving him humidified purified oxygen. Today the Pt and OT came in and sat him up! Legs dangling over the side of the bed. They put a washcloth in his hand and guided it to wash his eyes. Then, while holding his arm, they asked him to wash his face. Very slowly, but very certainly, before our eyes, he washed his face. And at the end, he gave a very slight, almost undetectable nod of his head when asked if he was too tired to continue.
"You go, Kyle!"
And thank you Rachel Hinnant for being there with your kind words to us, and your whispered words of encouragement to Kyle. So glad a dear special friend could witness and share tears of joy.
(And for those needing an explanation of bedside manner, and just a little bit of TV nostalgia to lighten things up......)
*A good bedside manner is typically one that reassures and comforts the patient. Poor bedside manner leaves the patient feeling unsatisfied, worried, frightened, or alone.
Dr. Gregory House (of the show House) has a caustic, callous bedside manner. However, this is an extension of his normal personality.
In Grey's Anatomy, Dr. Burke compliments Dr. George O'Malley's ability to care for Dr. Bailey's baby by saying "it speaks to a good bedside manner."
In Lost, Hurley tells Jack Shephard that his bedside manner "sucks". Later in the episode, Jack is told by his father to put more hope into his sayings, which he does when operating on his future wife.
In Scrubs, J.D is a good example of a doctor with great bedside manner, while Elliot Reid is a doctor with poor or non-existent bedside manner.
In Star Trek: Voyager, the Doctor often compliments himself on the charming bedside manner he developed with the help of Kes.
In M*A*S*H, Hawkeye Pierce, Trapper John McIntyre, B.J. Hunnicutt, and Sherman Potter all possess a caring and humorous bedside manner meant to help patients cope with traumatic injuries. Charles Winchester initially possesses no real bedside manner, acting with detached professionalism, until the rigors of his job help him develop a sense of compassion for his patients. Frank Burns has a poor bedside manner, constantly minimizing the seriousness of his patients' injuries, accusing them of cowardice and goading them to return to the front lines.
Now being a couple of weeks post accident and having my thoughts somewhat gathered (and the fact that you have your own blog now) I feel very inspired to sort of "blog on your blog" about my own personal thoughts of this. I hope Im not imposing.... just want to get a few thoughts out there as his cousin, your niece and a mother. While my son is only 2.5 years old, I feel as strongly and emotional as any other mother out there about the bond between a mother and son. He is my world, and there is no greater bond. I couldn't even imagine going through what you have gone through in the past couple of weeks. But being as close to you guys as I am, I can honestly continually and with 100% certainty say,"this is Kyle, the strongest guy I know. If there was one person in this family I had to pick to recover from something like this, it would without a doubt be my 'little' cousin Kyle." I want you to know that I am sure you are undoubtedly overwhelmed with all the support and love you are receiving there; and while we can't be there physically, there is no one more emotionally involved in this than your family up here in Jersey. We love Kyle and all of you more than you can imagine. We once talked about how rare it is for a family to be as close knit as we are, well just know that we are there for you and always will be. Just say the word and we will be down there in a heartbeat. I was looking at a picture I had made on a collage for Grandma a couple Christmases ago, and noticed I put a picture of Kyle holding Carter on it. I had to keep looking at it and remembering it when I stopped looking at it. All I could think about was "thats Kyle, that still is Kyle, and that will forever be Kyle." That Doctor with the "house" manners truly does not know him. Kyle is my little cousin who will never cease to amaze any of us. He will always look to the bright side, the realistic side, and never let his family down. Sure he has done some typical "kyle stuff" that has us wondering "huh where did that come from?" But in the end of everything he always pulls through, no matter what. You will be searching for answers for a long time on what this kid was thinking, and search you must. But remember that you can't search for too long, because it will hold you back from looking towards the future. In simple terms, he's a teen and while we wonder what teens are thinking, I can safely say (at heart believing a was a teen not too long ago lol) that sometimes teens just arent thinking. While it's hard to chalk it up to something so unexplanatory and simple, that's what it boils down to.
ReplyDeleteI guess what Im trying to say after all this rambling is that I (we) love this guy so much and he will amaze all of us. After reading that he moved his hand in an attempt to pet the therapy dog, I just felt so calm and happy, thinking that that is truly Kyle. I know that if Harley had come down there and menaced her way all over him, that he would be trying to pet her too. Thats the kind of kid Kyle is. He knows love and affection. Grandma always said when he was little that hes different from a lot of typical little boys in that he always gave her warm hugs and couldn't wait to cuddle in bed with her while she read him to sleep. And that's what I believe. He is different. He will show us. While that Doctor says "occasionally" they recover from this, Kyle is well on his way to showing us he his own person that will do his own thing. If Kyle wants it bad enough, he will do it. That is our Kyle. We love him with all our heart.
Tears and love...that was beautiful, Crystal <3 Thank you. Mwahh
Delete